An unexpected visit from Mr Krab

So, I'm home alone on a Saturday afternoon having just made a spectacular batch of apple fritters, when I hear a scratching noise.  Thinking that something fell, I ignored it the first time. And the second time. But after a while I realised something was not right.

Someone lurking in my house? I was about to find out. Armed with the fork I was using to eat my fritters, I went out to investigate. The scratching noise was coming from behind the lounge door.  I quickly looked behind it, not sure what I was expecting to find. A crab was the last thing I would have thought. But that is what it was.

Not the best photo - this one was taken on my phone. But here he is lurking in the corner.

After a panicked phonecall to my boyfriend and some moral support from my friends who I immediately messaged, I armed myself with a wooden spoon, an oven mitt and a tuppaware. The phrase "its more scared of you than you are of it"* came to mind as he put up its pincers in a defensive pose and tried to scurry away. But I got him into the tuppaware. I'm not going to lie though, I screamed like a little girl more than once.

Check out that defensive pose.

So after deciding he was too small to turn into a meal**, I threw him over the fence hoping he would be happier near the river and leave me alone .

Gosh ... my nerves were shot after that.  I decided to calm myself and paint my nails.  So, here I am sitting on the couch with my nails drying and messaging my brother the whole crazy story. When suddenly I hear a noise against the tin I keep my nail polish in. "Haha ...", I think to myself, "Now, I'm totally paranoid". Only I look down and the crab is looking up at me. 

Yes. I did scream like a little girl again.

I mean, what the heck. I can understand it accidentally crawling into my house once. But twice? That's some crazy crab.

So, I load Mr Krab*** back into the tuppaware. But suddenly my fear took a hold of me and I just kind of stared at him for the longest time wondering what I was going to do now.  And let me just say that crabs do make a noise. A kind of freaky clicking sound.

Mr Krab giving me the evil eye

Check out those pincers.

So this time I decided I am throwing him straight into the river. Only when I got to the fence, I realised that even on my best day, I would not be brave enough or precise enough to manage to throw him high enough to clear the barb wire and land in the river.  Plan B, I managed to drop him over the wall into the field.  I ran inside and closed all the doors.  He is not getting in here a third time.

The moral of the story is that even with all my manic screaming, my neighbours were not concerned enough to see if I was okay.

Well, I am definitely not getting any sleep tonight.  I can still hear the clicking noise he was making replaying in my mind.

A quick internet search leads me to believe that Mr Krab is a Brown Freshwater Crab.  I found a story of a woman who found one in her swimming pool after very heavy rains, even though she lives a kilometer from a river and behind a wall.  These little things are tricky fellows.

Is it just me, or does he look a bit cute in this picture.

* I don't think that's necessarily true. I was pretty scared. And screamed like a little girl. And hyperventilated a little bit.

**Don't worry, I wasn't really contemplating eating it.  I could never eat anything that looked up at me with those big eyes.

***Naming the crab is my brothers birthday present (its his birthday today). You're welcome Stewart, I know its the best birthday present ever.